Respond in Love
Paul’s Introduction and Greeting (1-3)
Paul opened this personal letter to Philemon by announcing he was a prisoner—the only time he referred to himself as such in a greeting.
Seven times he called himself an apostle, twice (1 and 2 Thessalonians) he used no appellation or title at all, and three times he referred to himself as a servant.
Here he distinguished the content of this personal letter by announcing he was a prisoner for Christ.
Paul was not going to use his apostolic authority to gain his desired request; instead, Paul was going to appeal to Philemon’s heart and aim at a complete heart change.
Paul would announce later in the letter that his scribe was also in prison serving him.
In this greeting, Paul added Timothy’s name as he did in five other letters. He was announcing to Philemon that their common brother Timothy was aware of and had discussed the contents of the letter and was in encouragement of its writing.
Paul then reminded Philemon that he was affectionately loved by Paul and they were all fellow workers in the same family business, which was their primary vocation. Their vocation was the spreading of the gospel and the Kingdom the gospel announced (1).
While Paul was an apostle, he did not see his office as making him more important than Philemon, Timothy, or Epaphras—they were all fully vested partners in an unbreakable fellowship.
Philemon would have been a wealthy man, and the church at Colossae would have met in his home.
Paul then greeted Apphia who was most likely Philemon’s wife, served with Philemon in some official leadership function, and was an equal sister in Christ and the covenant Kingdom family.
In using all of these names in the greeting, Paul was carefully building a revolutionary case regarding how the church was to function as God's Kingdom on Earth. Apphia would have been an important part of Paul's persuasion, as the wives in that day generally were tasked with the day-to-day management of the slaves.
Next, Paul greeted Archippus as a fellow soldier in this Kingdom family who was a leader in the church at Colossae, which met in Philemon’s home, and he has been assumed by many to be Philemon’s son. As a leader, Paul passed on instructions to him in the letter addressed to the whole church (Colossians 4:17).
Whatever Archippus’s relationship to Philemon, Paul and Timothy used him as a person of influence to try to get Philemon to consider the Christ-like response to the request Paul was about to make.
While this was a personal letter, it was meant to be read to the church, so Paul had the church included in the address of those who should read it. Philemon and his wife, of course, were to read it first (2).
Paul then greeted Philemon with grace from God and the full, blessed relationship of being in full agreement with God.
The entire structure of Paul’s greeting not only set up his appeal but was also written to make Philemon and his wife accountable to those he respected and to the entire church for his subsequent actions (3).
Paul’s Prayer (4-7)
Paul then gave his usual thanks to God for Philemon. This was customary in all letters of the time—a practice Paul fulfilled in every letter except the one to the Galatians (4).
Paul then, slyly, set Philemon up for a right heart response by thanking God for Philemon’s faith and love for the Lord Jesus and for “all the saints.” In the case Paul was going to build for Onesimus, Paul was not wanting to force an external compliance but disciple an internal change in Philemon (5).
Paul then prayed a prayer for Philemon. Paul would then build his letter around God’s answering the prayer.
Paul prayed for Philemon's partnership with him in the faith to actually be honored. The best translation for the word “share” is conveyed in the TNIV, “I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective …” The word “share” or “partnership” has the thought of being in a business partnership with another. In Roman law, a partnership was formed as parties brought their wealth and pooled it together. This would include money, property, even slaves. Joining their wealth together was binding and could not be separated; it was designed for one goal: profit.
The word Paul used for partner is the word we use for fellowship, “koinonia,” in the Greek. Paul then prayed that Philemon, having given everything he had into the fellowship or the partnership with King Jesus, would be given a deep understanding of the good things that he had and was going to eventually receive in profit from Christ (6).
Finally, Paul reminded Philemon of his reputation of kindness toward all the saints in having revived hearts weary from the normal difficulties of following Jesus. Philemon’s hospitality for those saints had cheered Paul up and renewed his courage (7).
Paul’s Appeal (8-12)
Paul reminded Philemon that his relationship in Christ and with Paul could have enabled Paul to issue a binding directive to Philemon (8). Instead, Paul decided to appeal to Philemon’s heart and encourage him to make a decision motivated by love. Paul reminded Philemon that he was an old man who had had time to contemplate what he was doing and think through the implications.
He was also in prison because the gospel he preached was so countercultural to the world’s thoughts and behaviors. He was aware of the drastic assault the gospel made on the culture they were living in, but he was still going to go against the norms and make his appeal to Philemon.
Paul was not going to exercise a demand but make an appeal to Philemon on behalf of Paul’s spiritual child, Onesimus (9).
Onesimus had been Philemon’s slave. He would have been considered a part of the lowest social status in Roman culture, the property of Philemon, without rights.
Paul, father to Philemon, was also father to Onesimus in Christ (10).
Onesimus' name meant “useful” in Greek and was a common name for slaves in Paul’s day.
Onesimus had become “useless” to Philemon, but Paul made the point that Onesimus had fulfilled the meaning of his name to Paul (11).
Paul reflected a bit on what it would be like to part with Onesimus, and to part with Onesimus was to part with his own heart, his own child, his own son. Onesimus had been reborn into the Kingdom family and to Paul was no second-class citizen.
This fondness Paul had for Onesimus was the fondness Paul had expressed in other places for Timothy and Titus (12).
Onesimus’ Transformation (13-16)
Onesimus had been transformed from an owner/slave relationship to a father/son relationship.
It would seem that Paul thought about keeping Onesimus as his own servant for the gospel’s sake, but then knew he had to return Onesimus to Philemon. Paul had also pondered using force on Philemon, along with the closeness of their relationship to insist that Philemon free his slave for Paul’s and the gospel’s benefit (13). Then, upon further consideration, Paul defaulted to his primary transformational principle. Transformation could not be externally forced upon the life of a follower; transformation was the result of a person’s making a decision of their “own accord” or voluntarily. To require something done would not change the heart and would never create spontaneous righteousness, which was God’s transformational goal (14).
Paul then told Philemon that this whole nasty episode of having a rebellious runaway slave could have worked into God's ultimate design. Onesimus had run away and he likely stole some of Philemon’s possessions, but it had wonderfully all worked out in God’s mysterious providence (15). While Onesimus had sought to run away from Philemon, he had actually run into the life of Paul, who led him to Christ. Onesimus ended up a Kingdom son and spiritual brother to Philemon and was then given back to Philemon as something much better and deeper than a slave—he had become a brother in Christ and an equal man (16).
Set Onesimus Free (17-22)
Paul then appealed to Philemon to do something scandalous. For a slave owner to leave a slave unpunished for running away would have been unthinkable. Philemon would have brought all kinds of difficulties to every other slave owner and the slave industry by allowing Onesimus to get away with his actions.
Paul reminded Philemon, however, that he was in a Kingdom partnership (koinonia). He was all in with Paul. They had given everything they had to the fellowship, to Christ. Onesimus was an equal brother belonging to Christ and His Kingdom.
Paul called on Philemon to receive Onesimus as he would receive Paul and to put any debt Onesimus owed him on Paul's account (17-18).
Paul then took the pen away from Epaphras and wrote a personal note to Philemon. He told Philemon he would repay any debt Onesimus owed him and then, with pointed straight talk, told Philemon that he would not go into detail about what Philemon owed Paul—that being his own soul (19).
Paul then told Philemon that he was looking for a benefit. The word benefit in the Greek is “oninemi.” Paul was playing with the language a bit and was in essence saying, “I want to find in you an oninemi of refreshing my heart in Christ” (20).
Paul then subtly called on Philemon to not only forgive but to free his wayward slave, maybe even return him to Paul (21).
Paul was unrelenting in bringing Philemon under the full weight of Holy Spirit conviction as he alerted Philemon of his impending visit. Yes, Paul announced he was coming to check up on Philemon as Philemon prayed and then prepared for Paul’s arrival (22).
Others Say Hello (23-24)
Paul then ended with a traditional, “The others say hello.” Paul included five of the six people he had mentioned in the letter to Colossae. Paul’s unstated reality is apparent: “There are others who have read the letter and are in agreement”: Epaphras, Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke. Epaphras was a fellow prisoner and scribe with Paul and sent his greetings—why? Paul was making a point that even the person serving him was first an all-out equal brother. In Christ, there is no bond or free—everyone is equal (23-24).
The Benediction (25)
Paul concluded by praying the grace of Jesus Christ on Philemon—he was going to need it (25).
An Imaginary Letter Between an Imaginary Sister of Philemon’s Wife, Flavia, and Apphia.
Flavia,
I understand how confused you must be. You are my sister, both of us having the same father, but I have a truer family, a spiritual family, a family to whom I so wish you belonged, so then we could be sisters twice over.
In this family, we share things; we treat each other like brother and sister because we are. It should not work, but it does. We call it “agape,” and we practice agape by what we used to mean in the word “love.”
When it comes to gods, those old gods we used to serve have collapsed and been exposed to us for who they really were—cheap imitations who, after we serve them, make us feel base and dirty.
Yes, we do leave the estate and gather in our city home with other Jews, and we deeply love them. They are family to us. The whole early Sunday morning thing did come to be, as you have been told—for it is no rumor—from an ancient Jewish feast. At a feast called Passover, a lamb was sacrificed and called the body of the meal. The Jews would feast on God as they ate that lamb in the same way we would feast on our gods at the temples.
At one of these Passover meals, just before Jesus was crucified and resurrected, Jesus took the bread and declared it His body and the wine the New Covenant in His blood. He moved the sacrifice meal from meat to bread and wine. He commanded us to repeat this meal in His memory and to “do this.” So early every Sunday morning, we say, “This is My body,” and, “This is My blood.”
Formerly, we gave our bodies, as you do now, to the gods, through “porneia” and sex and in many other ways, and we would wake up empty. We gave our hearts to every sensual pleasure, greed, and inebriation our conscience allowed and would wake up sullen and discontented.
Flavia, we go to the town house and gather with, yes, the slaves and market people, tradesmen, the rich, the poor, male, female, and a rich variety of races, among whom are Jews. Yes, you have heard correctly—your brother-in-law Philemon has invited Onesimus to the table, fully restored as our true brother. No, we did not and will not punish, rebuke, or treat him with indignities. We agape him; he is our true brother in Christ.
We sort out other family needs later, but on the first early morning of the week, we START again. We gather, we sing, the gospel is shared, the Scripture is read, and then we “do” it. “This is My body.” I swear, Jesus Himself is in the room. “This is My blood.” I swear the dense fog of His presence rises among us like dough rising under a cloth.
He gives His body to us as a living sacrifice, and then it happens—the miracle! We give our full selves to Him as a living sacrifice. Agape fills the room, our hearts are moved, and our bodies are changed. Oddly, our flesh dies a bit to what we once desired, and healings take place.
We cannot miss this Sunday moment any more than you can miss your moments with your gods. Please allow us the grace to arrive at your estate late for your festivities. Also, please excuse us from your festivals of worshiping your gods. Our King is now Jesus Christ, and we simply cannot give our bodies to those activities. Everything else you do, we will celebrate with you, but we must keep our marriage sacred at all costs.
And please do be careful with this letter as we boldly say our real Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ, not Caesar and his Roman culture.
With all agape, we write these things hoping someday you will be fully and completely our sister and share with us the holy moment of, “This is My body.”
Grace to you.
Apphia, Wife of Philemon
Prejudicial Proverbs (16:1-22:16)
CWe come now to the end of the fourth part of the book of Proverbs, the “Prejudicial Proverbs,” as we have named them. They began in chapter 16:1 and will end in this chapter at verse 16.
The first proverbs deal with the subject matter of the perspective of those who are building a good name for themselves. These are those who value prudence and humility more than wealth (1), favoritism (2), and ease (3-6).
A) A good name is superior to wealth (1).
B) The rich and poor come from God (2).
C) The prudent see danger and avoid it (3).
B) Riches come from the fear of God (4).
C) The corrupt are blind to danger and make it their path (5).
A) A good name is built by directing children to the right path (6).
Solomon finishes this section of “Prejudicial Proverbs” by listing out ten qualities that preserve a good name.
A) Recognize the dangers of debt (7)
B) Recognize the dangers of injustice (8)
C) Recognize the dangers of neglecting the poor (9)
D) Recognize the dangers of cynicism (10)
E) Recognize the dangers of a harsh tone (11)
F) Recognize the dangers of lacking experience (12)
G) Recognize the dangers of excuse-making (13)
H) Recognize the dangers of immorality (14)
I) Recognize the dangers of an undisciplined child (15)
J) Recognize the dangers of abusing the poor (16)
Piecemeal Proverbs (22:17-31:9)
We now enter a new section in the book of Proverbs that we have referred to as the “Piecemeal Proverbs” section in 22:17 through 31:9. We will find in this section a change of style. The proverbs move from being descriptive, for the most part, to being exhortations. We now enter the “sayings of the wise” designed to instruct young men through life.
In verses 17 through 21, the writer asks his child to listen with his/her heart; it is reminiscent of chapters 1-9. In verse 18, these words are to go so deep in the heart that they find their way to the lips. In verse 19, we discover these words are personalized and designed to create trust. In verse 20, we are told they were not just given to memory but were written down, and finally, in verse 21, we see the father’s desire for his children to be reliable messengers of truth.
In verses 22 through 28, the father turns to actions to avoid, such as oppressing the poor (22-23), befriending violent and angry people (24-25), giving unwise pledges (26-27), removing boundaries (28), and being incompetent (29).